Are You Aspiring to Meet a Guru? Why?

It’s been one week since Mass Control 2.0 in San Diego and I sit here in the center of the University of California, Berkeley (Free Speech Cafe) pondering the last week, the emotions that I experienced and my plans for the future.

I bring this all up because the last week (especially being at Mass Control) brings up a lot of emotions surrounding what I am doing (as an internet marketer), what I have done and accomplished (as an internet marketer) and where I want to be (and how I am going to get there).

Over time, my experiences at internet events (like Mass Control) has changed dramatically.  I remember going into events like these with the awful badge of newbie ignorance plastered to my forehead.  I was looking up at everyone.  Some in awe, others in jealousy, more in study.  “How are THEY doing this and what do I need to do to get there?…”

For me, it was kind of a desperate feeling.  I had nothing to offer anyone (in terms of growing their business) and I’m continuously trying to pick the brains out of these people to find that golden “gem” that is going to take me from nothing to “them”.  I personally am not this kind of person and most of the time I felt like a complete a-hole.

Still, I was able to make something of these experiences.  Some of these “few” that I had the courage to engage with actually DID make an impact on the direction and successes I have experienced online.  Some people helped directly (with promotion of my products or websites) while others helped indirectly (with advice and suggestions on how to start or how to build my online business).

I no longer feel like the newbie a-hole.  I now feel like an intermediate a-hole.

(I’m never satisfied, right?)

Part of this I attribute to my unnatural ability to network.  Networking takes me “out of my comfort zone”, which is really more of a reason why I should be doing it!  But I felt this was going to get easier.  I feel more confident on what I do online.  I am not a newbie…I am a full-time internet marketer solely supporting a family of 5 in San Diego California.  I *think* that is an accomplishment.  I have email lists and technical knowledge that can help almost anyone in the business.  I even have a small following from people who buy my products (like Tru-Guru) or visit my review site (at TheWebReviewer).  I thought this was going to make it easier.

But by Sunday, I have to admit that I was an emotional wreck: both good and bad.  For the handful of people who knew who I was (from my websites), I was on cloud nine.  It is fun and exciting engaging with people who are loyal followers (no matter what level they are at in their internet marketing careers).

Then there are my “internet marketing friends”.  Over time, I have developed these cyber relations with many people from around the world.  When we get to meet at events like this, it is like a high school reunion (only better!). I found myself hanging with this group the most and “networking” seems easiest when meeting people who are already fans of your inner-circle.

But still, I look up.  We see these “gurus” either hosting the event, speaking at the event or attending the event that still do what I do, but only 100 times better (in terms of money, following and growth).  And for some reason, some of these people look down to me the same way as I was looked down upon as a newbie.

This time, I think there was a little more confidence in approaching these gurus at this event, too.  And I found that some were actually great to talk to while others where so disinterested that I didn’t even feel present.  This irritated me a lot.

“Who the f- do they think they are?”

“Don’t I DESERVE to talk to you now?  I paid my dues in this industry!”

Harsh thoughts, aren’t they?  And at the time, these thoughts totally dominated over the great experiences I did have with some very successful people, as well as some extraordinarily energetic “newbie” marketers.

Is it just a big boys club?  A frat?  A clique?

Whatever you want to call it.  It brought back those feelings of high school.

As I started with in my post, I am right now at Berkeley writing this blog.  In three hours I attend my 16 year high school reunion (why it is not 15?…don’t ask!).  But I have had a couple of days here in the San Francisco bay area to ponder and focus on my expectations tonight and further, the emotions I experienced last week at Mass Control.

They are the same.

And ultimately, what am I trying to accomplish here?  What should I expect if I do meet these gurus?  Are they going to let me join their club?  and WHY do I want to join their club?  Is a 5 minute talk at a conference like this going to matter?

I hear these stories about people going to events making “big JV connections”.

“So-and-So is going to send to their list for me!”

But do you think that this is going to happen with one meeting at a conference?  Probably not.  And I don’t expect to, either.  My intention is never to create a JV relationship when I meet these people…it is about just developing a relationship.

And that is when it hit me!

If someone is going to be a total d-bag to me now, I don’t EVER want to be a partner with them anyway.  It think it is kind of sad that so many of us (including myself at times) aspire to meet and be with people (like these gurus) just because of their status and their leverage in your business or niche.

I suppose that is what business networking is all about, but personally, I don’t think I could ever do it (and I don’t think it is required, either).

Right now, I DO have lots of people in the internet world that are very important to me, at a personal level.  Some have helped me build my business, others have not.  But still, they are loyal and it is a two-way street.   It is about unconditional give and take.  I have nothing to prove to them nor do I need to sell them on my thoughts. And this has worked well for me.

I’m not going to let these people bring me down any more.  If I ever do get into a “big boys club”, it will be with people that I respect in the industry, not by the look of their car or the money in their bank account. I want to be a part of it because I like them, not what they do.

I am no longer “star struck” with internet marketers. They are just like the rest of us.

And getting bent out of shape that a person I wanted to meet turns out to be a jerk is just a waste of energy.  It is their loss. Move on.

I know that as I continue to grow as an internet marketer, it will become easier.  Being sought after is much easier than being a seeker.  But my goal will always be to be “real” with anyone who wants to engage with me.

(But if your intention is purely business and JV’ing, you may find my engagement to be rather lacking).

Tonight I go to my reunion with no expectations.  If I go into a room full of cliques, it won’t matter.  Being a part of the “in crowd” is not longer important to me.  (And generally, these clubs are purely superficial).  It will be the people who engage with me as an individual that will matter.  I have no doubt that the “nobodies” from high school will become my best mates in the future.

And at the end of the day, I still belong to the ultimate club that no-one will ever be able to break…and that is my family.

cheers…matt

P.S.  I want to at least mention a few people who I met at Mass Control who DID make a positive impact on me and I thank them for the time and sincerity they offered:

Tanya Chadwick (and partner Miles), Travis Sago (and wife, Jeannie), Matt Davis (and his gf, Melanie), Paul Lemberg (you inspired a lot of this post!), Jon Walker (finally good to meet!), Anthony Trister (again, finally good to meet!), Mark Richards (pleasant European courtesy), Dave Jones (I keep thinking “Monkees” every time I see your name!), Egbert (my homie),  Gary Gil (my San Diego super marketer), everyone who came to Travis’ dinner and the guy who sat next to me Saturday (I don’t have your name, but I think you are on the right track).

P.P.S. The list of those people/gurus who pissed me off…Like I’m going to list them here!

P.P.P.S.  Ryan Moran - loser!?  What, graduating from college is more important than us?  (Great Job, Bro!)